Yes, I am alive and I know I have not been doing a very good job of keeping up with this blog but, I've been doing a lot of work with my fellow writers, with my family and with my autobiography coming out. So, with this being the weekend I have time to take a break and actually write in here.
I've noticed News lately has been very depressing so,I actually have nothing to write about.
I have been living with my oldest children these last few weeks and it has been very strange for me to be in a house without babies or toddlers running around. Actually, if anything the house has been quieter. When kids are the age the older ones are now they tend to be very dependent but, I am always happy when my children want to spend time with me without being forced. In my opinion family values is very important even though I know it clashes largely with what I do for a living so, I will admit to being a hypocrite. However,I don't write what I write to be controversial I write it because it is the only way I know how to fully convey a story.
I, like any parent want my kids to have much better than I did and I often ask myself if I am doing that. I know I won't be able to run around or play with them or that I can't give them as much individual attention,etc. I also think I can't compare myself to my own parents or my mother,really because it is a different situation.
I was a mess for a long time, even when I was a father but I cleaned myself up for my children eventually. I wonder what my childhood would have been like if my mother cleaned herself up for me ?
These thoughts don't come to my mind often though because I am just happy and thankful for everything and everyone I have now in my life.
Now I only have one pressing decesion to make right now :
This one:
or this one : 
I am Alive
Author: Joel /
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13 comments:
oooh ! are those for your daughters ??
It' great that you cleaned yourself up to become the wonderful father that you are. I like the blue one
As long as you are there for them they will always love you, even if you can't play catch !
I think the blue one is darling
How can being a writer clash with your family values. I mean you don't have to be ultra conservative.
Are the rings for your new girlfriend ? You should totally get both.
The princess one is so darling, I think the woman who it's for would love it, but I know you love blue !
Controversy is great, it shows all sides of every issue, I'm sure your kids don't even read your blog.
It's great to see you posting but are you going to ignore what your daughter wrote in your family blog. I think we all want to know that she is okay and that she has a good maternal figure in her life. You are a wonderful parent but you can't be a mom to. I hear she spends time with Jill, so that's good.
I'm doing a countdown till your autobiography comes out ! You seem happier now that you are just with your kids
I like the crown one, although it could use a few more diamonds, maybe in pink.
I'm sure you can have more kids when the youngest are older. You really are a great Dad !
JB,
You should never worry weather you are doing enough. You have done more for your kids and given them everything you didn't have. Instead of being jealous of them you thrive on their fortunate at having a great father. There are so many dads out there who could lean from your dedication and commitment to your kids. Never doubt yourself !!
It has gotten quiet around here so, I have time to sit down and write out responses to all of these
@#1JBfan -- No, these aren't for my daughters. Not that I wouldn't ever buy them jewelry because I have(necklaces for Christmas) but, these are a bit more pricey.
@ Tara -- Yes, it is good but it was very hard. Let me tell you detox is hard.
@ Andy H.-- Hi,Andy I still remember you. I would love to meet you in person one day if I'm near where you are. I know it's not the most important thing to be able to walk but it goes acriss my mind occasionally.
@Holly -- What I meant was that I write about some pretty risque things and I have had a belief in no censorship but, I will be the first person to censor my own children. It's a strange paradox.
@ Alexa-- No, they are not.Getting both,hmmm . . . maybe.
@ DecemberSong-- I think she would too but contrary to former belief,I can part with the color blue for a while.
@Marley-- I don't think they do either but, mostly because they don't care.
@Amber-- I have learned to be happy more often since my surgery. Also, 8 days and counting.
@Linda Leigh -- Hmmm . . . you think so ? I don't ♥
@Lizzie-- Actually I would love to adopt one more child and have another one. I know it is crazy but,I have come in to a lot of money and been in a much better(happier)place recently and I want to share it with so many more people.
This is just a fantasy of mine though because in reality it would never work out.I think 10 is a good even number to stop at but,if the situation presented itself . . .I don't know.
HotWingz-- What you wrote was very thoughtful and I appreciate it, but I think I will always doubt myself a little. I'd like to think I am a good father but, I don't think I know enough to help others.
You all are too kind I appreciate all the kind words and comments. I will try to write more.
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